Pet Sounds: A series in which teaching staff and students from the English Department reflect on a piece of music or song. [Read all entries.] [Revisit the “Headspace” series.] [Revisit the “Ongoing” series.] [Revisit the “Interrogative” series.]

Artwork by Jerek Puczei

Faye Wong’s “Oi Mui” (曖昧)

‘To try to write love is to confront the muck of language; that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive (by the limitless expansion of the ego, by emotive submersion) and impoverished (by the codes on which love diminishes and levels it).’ —Roland Barthes

There is always a word that makes me ponder. How do we describe ‘Oi Mui’ (曖昧) in English? Honestly, I do not know. I cannot use a single word to describe that kind of ‘love’. Does it translate to the vaguely-defined relationship that prevails between a couple before the union is formally confirmed by both parties? Is it the equivocation of one in order to get rid of their responsibilities as a couple? Is it the vagueness of emotions or feelings that hinder the beginning of a relationship? Is it the ambiguity in a relationship that confuses the two or more people involved? I did not use to have an answer for that as I thought everyone interpreted and experienced things in different ways.

I do have an answer for it now though. There is always a reason in common, too much and too little love.

Oi Mui

Glistening tears in the corner of the eye,
What I love is not raised.
The smoke ring is the convention I defy,
Since I was never praised.

I was touched at no time,
We are never connected.

The warming tea represents us,
Soon curdles into disgust.
Alone in the empty room at midnight,
Leave me the coat to unite.

Hover around the room and you,
Being vague is your pastime.
The love I withdrew,
Was never mine at all time.

Do you really love me?
The question is never asked.

I cannot see through your eyes,
They are too abstruse.
The sky turns into ash,
My love still finds excuses,
To continue the love abuse.

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Holy Yoong is a student of the Department of English and the Department of Education (Class of 2018).